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11 December 2008 @ 07:45 am
I try not to make theism a habit, just as a general rule, but every now and then, the moment moves me to contemplate the possibility of "something more". As I sat in the dark, yesterday morning, lights off of my own accord, water turned off via the county of Dekalb, I listened to the rain gently hitting the roof and walk outside.
Due to a mix up in the mail, our water had been turned off, the day before and The Bureaucracy had informed us that "someone" would come out between now and the end of the week. It was Tuesday. I panicked, at first, dropped my phone (which I then had to run out and fix in the middle of the water fiasco), yelled and screamed. After ten deep breaths and a few additional words and phrases muttered on the Bureaucracy's behalf, Kellen and I brainstormed and we bought several gallons of water at the store for flushing the toilet with.
I'm not sure how I thought toilets worked but after hearing, time and time again, the old "if it's yellow let it mellow; if it's brown flush it down" advice, I ought to have seen this coming. I was, though, completely shocked to learn that our toilet takes 1.7 GALLONS of water for every flush! We immediately instated the Mellow Yellow rule and tried to use what we had sparingly.
So it was, with great pleasure, that I awoke to the sound of rain the next morning. It didn't take me very long to evaluate the points of greatest collection. Our fabulous porch canopy provided six drop spots which I quickly harnessed with buckets.
Two hours later, I was cold, wet, sore and elated. I had gathered almost ten gallons! The dogs and baby watched, most likely confused but slightly amused, as I gathered my buckets and contained them in the gallon jugs we had already emptied from the day before. Around eleven, I ran out of jugs to contain the water so I settled in to simply fill up buckets because w would probably need that water, whatever the containment method. Suddenly, the skies cleared. Then, the water came on.
At first I was crushed because, what would I do with all of that water? Then, Kellen showed me how to work a toilet (I suppose, that is his redemption for the bit about Gloria Steinem) which I had only a basic understanding of prior to this event. It turns out, the water can be used even when we're getting water from the county. We'll show them! Our water bill ought to be about $30 less, next month.
Back to god. Do I really think that I needed a lesson in conservation? Perhaps. Do i think that God lost my water check in the mail, bribed county to wait exactly 24 hours, and made it rain, putting the idea of water collection into my head, only to turn off the rain and turn off the water just to push me in the direction of Bill Nye and Al Gore? No. Would I just naturally accept that the former sequence of events was, indeed, god's plan, if theism were a daily practice? Perhaps.
In my newest journey into positive and calm psychology, I will take a more Buddhist approach and agree that nothing is good; nothing is bad. We make our own happiness and sadness with whatever is presented to us. in the words of Marcus Aurelius: the whole universe is change and life itself is what you deem it.

05 December 2008 @ 09:39 am
Yeah like for realzies.

check out:

11 April 2008 @ 09:59 am
Hey all!

So I have a baby. He’s fucking amazing.

I went natural although they made me augment with pitocin (a hormone to kick start labor, not pain medication…it actually decreases chances of going natty because the contractions can be so strong) because my water had been broken for 18 hours when we got to the hospital (we were laboring at home because my contractions hadn’t started).
So it was amazing and I’d do it again in a heartbeat…I just want someone else to do the pregnancy part. :O)
I definitely felt drugged after just because your body makes its own chemicals. Kellen was amazing and I would highly recommend him as a labor coach for anyone going through this. It’s hard to remember how everything went just because your body tunes everything out. I was pretty quiet…although, they said I didn’t scream at all during labor but I was FREAKING out after they plopped him on my tummy. I was like “AAAAH! Omhiog! Omigod! A Baby! He’s here! I maaaade this! Omigod omigod He’s soooo beautiful!” They said I was louder than most women during labor….haha I guess that’s what happens when you’re alive awake alert and enthusiastic with no drugs hee hee.

It’s been great so far. Right now I’m on a fairly militant breastfeeding advocacy campaign if anyone wants to talk about the medical industry and our culture surrounding women BFing in public. :O) Although, at the same time, I’m having issues with La Lecha League because they’re pretty focused on women staying home with their kids to BF which is fine but not everyone can or wants to do that. Any who…wish me luck. I’d really like to BF for a year and then pump for another year.

Love y’all!
28 August 2007 @ 10:17 am

NEW BRIGHTON, MN—Immediately following a physician's examination for her menstrual cessation, 37-year-old events planner Janice Crowley told reporters Tuesday that she is "ecstatic" with her diagnosis of a rapidly growing intrauterine parasite.

"I'm so happy!" Crowley said of the golf ball–sized, nutrient-sapping organism embedded deep in the wall of her uterus. "I was beginning to think this would never happen to me."

Enlarge Image Woman Overjoyed

The unaccountably happy Crowley.

Crowley's condition is common and well-documented, with millions of women between the ages of 12 and 50 diagnosed every year. Studies have shown that while the disorder strikes without prejudice across racial, ethnic, and class lines, it bears a very high correlation with the consumption of alcohol at the time of infection. Although there is a low-cost daily medication available that can prevent the harmful symbiote with 99 percent efficacy, many women inexplicably choose not to use it.

Symptoms of potential uterine blight are wide-ranging and can include nausea, vomiting, constipation, irritability, emotional instability, swollen or tender breasts, massive weight gain, severe loss of bone density, fatigue, insomnia, excessive flatulence, hemorrhoids, vaginal tearing, and involuntary defecation.

"I can't wait to tell my parents!" said Crowley, who added that she is reasonably certain she contracted the parasite while on a romantic Caribbean cruise with her husband in May, most likely during a brief sojourn in the Virgin Islands.

Enlarge Image Woman Overjoyed Sonogram

The nutrient-sucking creature that grows within.

"I think it must have happened in that little seaside villa on St. Thomas," said Crowley in an attempt to pinpoint precisely how long ago her endoparasitic ailment began. "Or maybe the night we went to that secluded beach on Tortola."

Crowley has reportedly refused a simple inexpensive outpatient procedure that would completely rid her of the detrimental organism in about an hour, effectively sparing her from the host of complications that will burden her and her family for the rest of their lives.

"We're thinking of naming [the parasite] either Robert or Lisa," Crowley said. "I just couldn't be more excited!"

Among the many signs that Crowley's condition is deteriorating rapidly is a frequent compulsion to consume foods in unorthodox and often revolting combinations.

"For some reason I can't stop eating olives dipped in chocolate cake frosting," Crowley said cheerfully. "And the other day I just had to have sardines with butter and jam. Crazy!"

In what will likely be the most painful experience of her life, Crowley will eventually require hospitalization in order to remove the giant entity. There is at least a 15 percent chance doctors will be forced to cut the parasite directly from her abdomen, a procedure that would result in severe trauma and scarring. If Crowley survives the operation, she will have to cope with the minimum 18 additional years of emotional and financial drain that is typically associated with this parasite, as well as irrevocable harm to her toned and relatively youthful body, This includes scarring to her breasts and stomach, and a series of visibly pronounced veins along her thighs and groin.

"Just think, in a couple of months I'll be able to feel it kicking," Crowley said of the creature that will soon be writhing restlessly inside her, increasingly and disproportionately robbing her of her strength and stamina. "It's truly a miracle."

Though Crowley is otherwise healthy, the fact that she is in her late 30s makes it much more likely that the parasite has already split and multiplied within her womb.